Happy New Year!

I wanted to begin 2017 with a web-worthy listicle, to help you start the year off right.

Not my personal New Year’s resolutions (lying to myself is bad enough, lying to you would be worse).

And not a list of my personal opinions on how to have a better prayer life, experience more fulfillment at Mass, or find the best bargains at your local Catholic goods store.

I wanted to give you punchy little nuggets of insight that would glisten like stars in the firmament of your ever-increasing faith.

I even considered calling these brief insights, “Inslights,” because of their diminutive size, but changed my mind after actually typing “Inslights” and seeing how stupid it looked, along with realizing at least three ways it could be used to make fun of me in the com box.

The short version is—I got nothing. Almost nothing. What I have is a fair-sized collection of list ideas I decided against, which I’ll be happy to pare down and share in a wholly self-centered attempt to claim that I accomplished my listicle goal.

And so…

Rocking the Cradle Catholic’s
TOP TEN REJECTED LISTICLE IDEAS FOR 2017

  1. Confessional Block? Here Are Ten Handy Starter Sins You’ve Probably Committed.
  2. Must-Have Accessories For Girls Who Serve Mass (Check out the “Hair Cincture”)
  3. Obscure And Unpronounceable Saint Names To Saddle Your Kids With For Life
  4. A Dozen Rockin’ Altar Boy Sneaker Colors For Parishes That Use Red Cassocks
  5. Five Songs No One Seems To Like But Every Parish Tends to Sing
  6. Ten Altar Wines For Under $2 A Gallon (and worth every penny)
  7. Provisional Deacons With This Season’s Most Promising Thurible Swings
  8. Seven Shades Of Gaudete Pink Even Barbie Wouldn’t Wear
  9. Pope Francis’ Top Ten Favorite Argentinian Disco Hits From His Personal Playlist
  10. Stylish Hand Sanitizer Bottles For The Extraordinary Ministers In Your Life

If you’ve had worse ideas than these, please feel free to share. Don’t be shy.

I am in no position to judge you.

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